“How do I let a stranger take care of my loved one?” This is a question we hear often when a person is searching for the best situation for their senior loved one’s care needs, but are struggling with guilt and uncertainty.
When considering a move to senior living, it is important to get to know the people caring for your loved one. Ask about team culture. Take the time to share a bit of yourself with the care team. You may find they become a valued friend to you and your family.
WAYS TO CONNECT WITH YOUR LOVED ONE’S CARE TEAM
The caregivers who care for your loved one spend a lot of quality time with them, quickly becoming a care partner with them. However, for family members who do not have that same quality time, there are still ways to connect with care teams so that you can feel secure in the care decisions for your loved one.
ON THE TOUR
The first part of feeling comfortable with making a care decision is in the tour process. You will have time to see how care teams engage with current residents. The following ideas may help you in your decision process as to whether the community you are touring is the right fit for your loved one:
- How are the caregivers engaging with the residents? Do you see a friendly familiarity? Are they respectful?
- Say hello to a caregiver and ask a question of them! When touring, if you see an opportune time, introduce yourself to a care team member, housekeeper, or server. Ask them about ways that they get to know their residents and how they personalize their care.
- Discuss with the administrator what the company culture is like there at the community. A happy team is often a sign of an engaging community.
AS YOU VISIT
Once you have made the decision for a care community, you have several opportunities to connect with your loved one’s care partner. Some suggestions:
- When you visit, check in to see which care members are caring for your loved one. Get to know them by name, talk to them about your loved one’s care, and take a little time to get to know them (as they are able, of course.)
- Go to events! Join caregivers, residents, family members, and the rest of the staff at community activities and events. It is a great way to see the engagement and to get to know those who care for your loved one.
- Take part in care meetings. Care meetings are your opportunity to truly create a partnership with the care team and overall care plan for your loved one.
Frequently Asked Questions: Building Trust with Your Loved One’s Care Team
How do I let a stranger take care of my loved one?
It is completely understandable to feel guilty or uncertain about asking someone else to care for a loved one. However, the people providing care do not have to remain strangers. Take time to get to know the team members who care for your loved one, learn about their experience and approach to care, and share information about your loved one’s personality, preferences, routines, and history. Building these relationships can help create trust and a stronger partnership between your family and the care team.
How can I get to know the caregivers before my loved one moves in?
The tour process is a great opportunity to begin getting to know the people who may care for your loved one. Pay attention to how team members interact with residents. Do they seem familiar with residents and their preferences? Are they respectful, friendly, and engaged? When appropriate, introduce yourself to a caregiver or another team member and ask how they get to know the residents they serve.
What should I look for in a senior living community’s team culture?
A community’s team culture can tell you a lot about the environment your loved one may experience. During a tour, observe whether team members appear to work well together and whether they engage positively with residents. You can also ask the community’s leadership about how they support their team and create a caring, engaging environment. When a team feels connected and supported, that can contribute to a positive experience for residents and families.
How can I build a relationship with my loved one’s care team after they move in?
Make an effort to learn the names of the team members who regularly care for your loved one. When you visit, take a moment to say hello and ask how your loved one is doing. Share information that may help the team better understand your loved one, such as their routines, interests, preferences, or what helps them feel comfortable. These small conversations can help create a stronger relationship over time.
Should I attend events and activities at the community?
Yes. Community events are a wonderful way to connect with your loved one, the care team, and other residents and families. Participating in activities can give you a better sense of your loved one’s daily experience while also helping you become more familiar with the people who support them. From celebrations to activities and gatherings, these shared experiences can help a senior living community feel more like a community for the entire family.
What is the benefit of participating in care meetings?
Care meetings give families an opportunity to communicate directly with the care team and participate in conversations about their loved one’s care. These meetings can help you better understand your loved one’s needs, share important information, ask questions, and work together with the team to support their overall care plan. They are an important part of building a partnership with the people caring for your loved one.
Will the care team ever feel like more than strangers?
Over time, many families find that the people caring for their loved one become trusted care partners. While caregivers may be new to your family at first, getting to know them and sharing information about your loved one can help build a relationship based on communication and trust. The goal is not to replace the family’s role, but to create a team of people working together to support your loved one.
